In The Town Of Bedrock

I figured I should write something since it's been a while. I was searching my mind for topics when it dawned on me that I have been watching The Flintstones for more than two hours straight. I fucking love that cartoon. Fred Flintstone is a man amongst boys and Wilma is a sexy little Bedrock minx. I'd love to throw down with her and Betty Rubble while Fred and Barney are off at the quarry busting their asses for Mr. Slate. Anyway, here's a list of reasons why Fred Flintstone is better than you and me:

He has a pet dinosaur.

His car has to weigh like eight tons. And he drives with his feet. Badass.

Sabertooth tiger can opener. Only a real man can provide these kinds of household conveniences for his woman.

His best friend Barney has no fucking eyeballs. That would scare the shit out of me. Not Fred Flintstone. Dude just keeps on keepin' on.

His work apparatus is another dinosaur. The guy fucking owns dinosaurs. Remember in Jurassic Park when Robert Muldoon gets mauled by the velociraptor? Fred Flintstone would have kicked that fucker in the balls and made him play fetch with his own dinosaur dick.

He wears an orange shirt with a blue tie. The man is a fucking trendsetter.

During one episode he fucking promoted Winston cigarettes. Don't believe me? Look at this:


I think I make my point. Fred Flintstone is the shit.

Dinosaur Killing Motherfucker