A Small Part of Me

Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make. It is with great pride and the sincerest feelings of honor and humility (I can do that, I swear) that I would like to share with you this piece of groundbreaking and life-altering information: I have a massive and truly impressive penis and a pair of tremendous testicles that would make Jesus Christ himself shiver with envy. Let me elaborate.....

I first realized that my man-stick was, in fact, a monument to humanity when I was a young boy. Living life in possession of a daunting piece of pants-meat, though, was not always easy. Many a time did I find myself turning around too swiftly in the small classrooms of those days and nearly putting out the eyes of classmates with my enormous cock, or forgetting to fully reel in my gigantic phallus after relieving myself and slamming it in the bathroom door as it dragged behind me.

Do not, however, allow me to lead you to the conclusion that my summer-sausage sized trouser snake has been anything but a blessing. Oh, quite on the contrary! How I cherish the sound of stupid whores gasping in both terror and delight as my rippling flesh rocket and softball sized nuts are revealed in their full glory. How could one put a price on the look on the face of some tight-snatched harlot as she catches her first glimspe of the splendor that is my pork steeple?

How large, however, is my meaty flesh stick and pair of perfectly circular and delectable balls? Allow me to explain... Should my junk be compared with your average space shuttle, one would notice that my hammer-headed butter slinger dwarfs even the most impressive of NASA's space vehicles. Ladies and gentlemen, it is that big. Oh yes, it is that big.

And where would I be without the industrial-strength sack that I have in which to carry my rotund and girthy meatballs? Nowhere, you can bet the kids' college fund on that. My pink nut satchel is the Robin to the Batman that is comprised collectively of my left and right testicular wonders. In conjunction with my jeans-tube, it creates the most impressive and truly awe-inspiring combo of meaty round delight and giant-cigar shaped wonderment anyone could reasonably expect from any person.

Am I, then, simply being pompous and arrogant? Well, one could lay the claim that when you have a sister-crippler like I do then there is nobody who can contest anything I say as a result of my thick stick. In fact, anyone who has the audacity to speak ill of my fabulously robust dick is more than welcome, as far as I am concerned, to suck on my aforementioned tube steak.

Initially, this post was meant to be a brilliant dissertation on the magnificence of my junk, but in explaining the true brilliance of my shit I believe I have stumbled across what is possibly the greatest discovery ever in the history of humanity - I am hung like the average orangutan.

And yes, I am very fucking proud.

Fucking proud, indeed.