I'm sitting at work right now hungover and trying to kill time until I get to escape. Naturally, the first thing that came to my pounding mind was to write about whatever came to me. Here are just a few of the things that are bouncing around in my head. Be warned.
1. I wonder how long it will be before an employer or prospective employer finds this little weblog I write and fires my ass. I mean, I really do not ever write about anything of any real value here. Every other word I use is "fuck" or some derivative of that word. I routinely make fun of homeless people, talk about wanting to blowing up more abortion clinics than Eric Rudolph, detail my debaucherous nights, and generally promote the downfall of humanity. I am pretty good at it, though. So, am I going to clean this shit up and produce more wholesome and educating articles and posts? No fucking way. I like to swear and make fun of crack heads. Few things give me greater pleasure. And if I can make my friends laugh because of what I write then that is only extra incentive to keep writing this disgusting and utterly worthless drivel.
2. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fucking fuckity fuck fuck. Fucker. Fuck. Fuck. Hahahahahahaha.
3. America Idol is starting again. Fucking fuck am I fucking excited!!! Oh fuck! Am I being sarcastic? You decide. Here is a list of things I would rather do than watch American Idol:
Watch a puppy die.
See Rosie O'Donnell naked.
Stand between a fat woman and the buffet table.
Parachute-less skydiving.
Anything having to do with centipedes and my genitalia.
American Idol!! Catch the fucking fever!!!
4. Boobs. Such a great word for such a great thing. Just wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. Boobs.
5. Ann Coulter is a loud-mouth, pickle-licking, baby-kicking, shit-eating, whorebag bitch who couldn't make a lucent argument that she is fucking Ann Coulter! I haven't cut loose about this bitch for too long and now I'm fucking angry. Angry and tired. But mostly angry. I can't even decide if she is good-looking or not. I've got a thousand dollars that says she is totally into bondage and loves to beat the shit out of whoever is unlucky enough to be captured by and forced to sleep with her. I'm certain that she has a dungeon in her home. And when you enter your soul is sucked into the fiery pits of hell. And she kicks puppies. Whore.
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