Dear Crackheads on Marquette University's Campus,
I'm back for more motherfuckers! Hahahahaha. School started again for the spring semester and I am coming back for more of your toothless mumbling and demands for money. And guess what...I'm going to bring quarters one day a week. That's right, once a week (though you will not be told which day, as I refuse to actually talk with you without making fun of you) I will be walking around campus with a pocket full of change. And, should you manage to salvage your pride I may give you a shiny nickel. However, if you catch me on a day when I do not carry change, I will, as always, tell you to fuck yourself with a rake handle.
Why am I being so nice? Have I had a change of heart, turned a 180 and decided to embrace the more seedy element of the streets of Milwaukee? Fuck. And. No. Honestly, I just have a bunch of change, mostly pennies, that doesn't add up to enough for me to take to a bank. It's not worth my time, so instead I will just give it away to crack bums and then make fun of them in the process. It's entertainment for me, and the bum to whom I am giving a shiny copper penny is one cent closer to that sweet hit off of the crack pipe.
In any case, crackheads, beware. You are now playing Russian Roulette. If you catch me on the one day a week when I have change, congratulations. If you ask me for "money for a sandwich" on any of the other four days of the week, I will simply fucking kill you. I refuse to be compassionate anymore.
You are warned.
Fucking crackheads.
1 comment:
I just finished reading this post-- but I don't have time to leave the comment(s) that I want to--- so I'll do that next time ^_^
I'll be back (with your warm sunshine post ^_^)
~K
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