A while back I was reading through some of the things I have written about here and I came upon my Racists and Assorted Dumbasses post. I have always liked that, and rereading it I felt even better than I did when I told that stupid little racist to cram it. Because of this, I was slightly confused after a series of events occurred at the Milwaukee County Courthouse. I wasn't even going to write about this because it is fucking stupid, but whatever, I get to choose what I write about.
This week I was sent to the Milwaukee County Courthouse to make copies of various permits and other documents that some of the attornies in my office needed. I happily obliged because it means I get to leave the office and I get to pretend I'm important for an hour. So I went to the courthouse and copied the documents. As I was leaving, however, I was stopped by a fat black lady who was standing in front of the courthouse. (Note: The front of the courthouse is prime crackhead real estate. Panhandling in the area is insane and it is always crawling with people looking for lawyers to get their kids out of jail or shit like that). This lady explained to me that she was there because she had several outstanding fines and tickets in her name and was in need of legal representation. She asked if I would be her lawyer. This wasn't the first time someone has asked me to act as their legal representative and usually when I explain that I am not a lawyer they realize that this means I cannot represent them. Not this lady. After I told her that I am not a lawyer and could not represent her she continued to ask for legal advice. I explained that in addition to being unable to legally represent her I could not dispense legal advice, and that it is, in fact, illegal to do so if one is not a licensed attorney.
Her response to all of this: "Man, fuck you. You a racist muthafucka."
Excuse me? Look, I am pretty crude, I swear a lot, I drink far too much, I generally harbor contempt for most people, hell, I even scratch my nuts in public if I feel the need, but I cannot remember ever doing or saying anything that would make anyone think that I am truly a racist. This woman, though, apparently thought that my inability to help her was indicative of an incredible level racism. I wondered: Is she an angry cunt or simply retarded?
My response: "Yeah, I can see what you mean. But you are a fat lowlife and I don't spend my time in front of the courthouse begging for a lawyer."
Maybe I should have just called her a nigger. (Side note: I'm kidding. Or am I? No, I am)
I don't even know what to make of this. That porked-out oyster ditch really thought I was a racist. Functionally retarded does not even begin to describe that tubby fuck.
So I guess I'm a racist now. Jesus Christ, I wonder what it makes me if I decide not switch phone providers. Am I a serial killer then?
I should have just ran her over with my car. I'm glad I didn't, though. I can only imagine the size of the dent she would have put in the hood.
I guess I'm moving to the South and waving a Confederate flag.
Praise the Lord and pass the ammo!
Stupid bitch.
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1 comment:
Hmm... no worries. There are a bunch of people like that- too many. And just because of a bad encounter, a dramatic story about a friend's friend, something they saw on TV, or even the way they were brought up-- people become/are ignorant and say things they have no business saying.
In my book, she doesn't know any better and is stuck in her ways.
The most I would have done is smiled, wish her a good day, and leave. But that's just me. If you did that, I would be forced to believe you've hit your head, that you are running a fever, or that you have just lost your mind :P
I'm sorry you had to deal with her...
~K
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